


Five time Sirius pretended to be a ladies' man and the one time he didn't

by WolfSquish



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 5+1 Things, Child Abuse (mentioned), Coming Out, Flash Fic, Gay Remus Lupin, Gay Sirius Black, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Sirius' Signature Grin, The Author Likes to Pepper in the Fact That Sirius is Gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:34:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27565357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfSquish/pseuds/WolfSquish
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin!
Relationships: Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 10
Kudos: 84
Collections: Truth or Dare?





	Five time Sirius pretended to be a ladies' man and the one time he didn't

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [Truth_or_Dare](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Truth_or_Dare) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Truth: (Trope) 5 plus 1
> 
> Thanks to FaeOrabel for looking this over for me!

It was a rare sight to be sure: Sirius Black, prankster extraordinaire, bane of every teacher, was sat in the library with books open and a partially written homework assignment balanced precariously on top. Of course the effect was negated entirely by his chewing on the end of his quill and staring off to the other side of the library. 

It had been empty when he’d started staring, so it was a rude awakening to suddenly have to dodge someone trying to flick his ear. 

“Oi!” He hissed, careful not to get on the librarian’s bad side as he wasn’t too fond of detention when it wasn’t worth it. “What’s that for?”

“You’ve been staring at me for an hour now, are you going to continue being a creep or are you going to do something?” Marlene put her hand on her hip and twirled her hair as she looked down at him. 

She looked like a right twat, Sirius thought to himself, and he opened his mouth to say so, but what came out was “Well, I guess I’ll have to do something about it. Hogsmeade Saturday?” The added grin just seemed like it was the only thing he could do to not get slapped. He still might, he thought, as she leaned down over him, her expression unreadable.

“Alright then.” She said with a wink before actually skipping off to her friends, seated right where Sirius had been staring aimlessly before. 

Well crap, now he had to go on a date Saturday. 

  
  


Why did his parents have to insist on these ridiculous parties? No one cared about Yule, and even less people cared about how suffocating his dress robes were. He threw a dark look at some of the people he suspected were actually listening to this pretentious Dark Lord ponce and his utter crap. Snivellus was skulking about the edge of the group. How’d he even get an invite? Sirius shook his head then tilted it to Regulus, who was sort of hovering next to the drinks table. 

It was their game every year to see if either of them could manage to sneak some booze before any adults noticed. Regulus nodded and started making his approach along the walls, while Sirius darted through the crowd in a more direct manner.

Sirius went from mildly amused that at least he had one ally at the party to dismayed and depressed once he made it around a couple dancing rather… enthusiastically and taking up a lot of space, and found that instead Bellatrix and Narcissa were standing in front of the drinks table. The upside of their age difference was that he didn’t have to deal with them at Hogwarts anymore. The downside was that Bellatrix had gotten even more insufferable when she graduated, and that they could use magic when they were forced to interact while he could not. 

“Ickle widdle Siwius, come to steal some of daddy’s hooch?” Bellatrix sneered as she spotted him, causing Narcissa to roll her eyes. Despite him lobbing her into the general asshole side of the family, Narcissa had been civil to him since she graduated.

He rolled his eyes, knowing that arguing against her would lead to her flipping out on him. Of course, Bellatrix had had a few drinks and been in the group he’d spotted earlier for most of the evening, so she was looking for a fight. “Going to drink away your loneliness, Mr Can Never Get a Date?” She needled and something in Sirius twisted. It must have shown on his face; Narcissa cast a quick, worried glance to Bellatrix before taking a step back. 

Before Sirius got the chance to spit whatever acid with his words, Bellatrix got called away. Death Eaters, they were starting to call themselves. Pathetic. He shook his head and geared up to resume his mission, but Narcissa had stayed behind and stopped him. 

“It’s okay, you know? Not to date.” She said softly, with a quick glance into the crowd, probably at someone Sirius didn’t see when he tried to follow it. He shrugged her off and shook his head. 

“I don’t need to date to get what I want.” He said with a smirk, though at the same time he really needed that drink at this point. Somehow, he’d have preferred Narcissa had continued the needling. He could deal with asshats being right, but asshats being nice about a thing they were right about was so much worse. Luckily, a commotion happened on the other side of the room then, and he could swipe a bottle of firewhiskey, which he quickly passed to Regulus as he passed him worried someone would have seen him. And they had; he would take one hell of a beating for it. 

But as he and Regulus sat in the drawing room, their feet up on their mother’s precious table, passing the bottle back and forth, he could only think it was worth it. 

  
  


“I just think she’s really fit.” James said for the millionth time. That afternoon, they were all lounging on his bed in their dorm, in the middle of what had started out as an attempt to get some studying done which had since devolved into Remus having prankspiration, Peter complaining in general, James waxing poetically about Dorcas Meadowes, and Sirius slowly realising that maybe there was a reason why people got to him so easily when talking about dating, and trying his hardest not to let anyone realise by adding his own comments about Dorcas. 

However, it’d been hours of that by now, and he was more than a little fed up with James going on and on still. 

“So you’ve said.” Remus pointed out drily as he chewed on his quill, ink spread over the corner of his mouth, that Sirius would give anything to li- 

“But her hair though.” Sirius added quickly with a shake of his head as he tried to get rid of that particular image. 

“Right! Her hair!” James rolled over onto his back and stretched out as Peter heaved a heavy sigh and muttered some things under his breath that had even Remus looking up at him in surprise with an arched eyebrow. 

It took Peter a full ten seconds to realise everyone was staring at him. Once he did, he looked up, squeaked, flushed dark red and ducked his head again. 

“I said that out loud?” He whispered, sounding ready to sink into the floor and become a permanent part of the castle. 

James managed a wheezy “yes” before he, Remus, and Sirius burst out laughing with Peter joining in a moment later, though still bright red. 

  
  


Sirius woke up from his nap behind some bushes on the Hogwarts grounds to the sound of giggling. He shifted a little and put a hand behind his head, set on waiting out the giggling so he could go back to sleep. 

Only the giggling didn’t stop, it instead got louder and closer to him. 

“Okay but, to be honest, he’s kind of cute?” He heard someone who might have been Lily say, though he couldn’t be sure; he’d never actually paid any attention to her.

“No, really?” A second voice said, maybe Dorcas, though it was hard to tell when the giggling immediately returned. 

“Well if you’re going to be a twat about it-”

“No, no! It’s just, cute, you know?” Sirius definitely recognised the third voice as Marlene’s, and kind of wished he didn’t. “Having a crush on Frank is entirely respectable. And really cute.” She continued before the giggling continued. 

They seemed to be settling on the other side of the bushes, so Sirius could kiss his nap goodbye. He rubbed a hand over his face before sitting up, his signature grin in place as he looked over the bushes to spot his three guesses, as well as Alice, whose voice was so small that he probably wouldn’t have heard her if she’d screamed at the top of her lungs. 

“Well ladies, if you were looking for a specimen of a man to discuss, look no further!” He said as he hopped to his feet with a ridiculous bow to more giggling. 

“Oh trust me, we did after you abandoned me on our date.” Marlene managed a glare to accompany her words, though the incessant giggling wasn’t far behind at all.

“Now, you see darling-”

“Nu uh, I don’t think so.” She cut him off and blew him a kiss before linking her arms through Dorcas’ and Alice’s arms and marching off, while Lily grinned at him and followed them after a moment that stretched long enough Sirius almost thought she was going to say something.

  
  


“Fine, okay, you win. Dare.” Remus sounded every bit as annoyed as you’d expect someone who’d been needled by Peter, of all people, to actually choose ‘dare’ for the better part of the evening would. Which is to say, mildly amused, though very wary seeing as James was the one who would get to come up with the dare. 

And that wariness visibly doubled at the gleeful look on James’ face as he pretended to think. “I… dare you… to…” He paused dramatically even though he was already talking at a snail’s pace to shoot a grin at Sirius, as if Sirius was meant to know what that look was about. “Kiss Sirius for a minute.” It was almost one word and for a second it was entirely silent. 

Then three things happened at once: Peter choked on the chocolate frog that was trying to escape from his mouth, Remus’ eyes went wide, and Sirius let out a squeak he would deny with his dying breath if need be. 

“Ha ha, James.” Remus said with a roll of his eyes. “Is there any point to that? We all know Sirius is very much into women only, and just because I’m not doesn’t mean I want to smush my face against his.” 

_ But I do. _ Sirius grimaced as the thought hit him full force, and then shot Remus an apologetic look as he gestured in his general direction as if to underscore his words. 

James rolled his eyes at them but nodded and genuinely thought for a bit before doling out some other cruel and unusual punishment to be called a dare. 

  
  


It wasn’t until hours later, when everyone was asleep—Sirius had checked—that he drew back the curtain around Remus’ bed and crawled into bed with him. It wasn’t unusual; this happened every so often after a full moon, but that was still weeks away. 

“It wasn’t that I didn't want to kiss you.” He said all in one breath while Remus was still blinking awake, “It’s that I do.” His voice had never been this small before, as he admitted it out loud for the first time. Even knowing it was Remus, and that there was literally no way he was going to react badly, it made his heart hammer in a way he’d never felt. 

“Oh-kay.” Remus said slowly, blinking at him a few times before settling in his arms comfortably. “So why don’t you?”

That caught Sirius up short as he thought about actually kissing him, and he couldn’t have fought the blush crawling down his neck with all the power in the world. 

“I uh-” He gulped as his eyes darted to Remus’ lips for a moment. “I don’t know how.” He admitted while secretly hoping that the mattress would swallow him whole. 

Remus rolled his eyes at him and huffed a little. “It’s really not that different to kissing a girl, you know?” He pointed out, with far less annoyance in his voice than Sirius was expecting. 

“Wouldn’t know about that either...” It was easier to admit, now that he’d actually said the far scarier thing out loud already. 

“Well, then I guess I’ll just have to kiss you.” 

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first time writing this trope and it was so much fun to do!


End file.
